THE SPIRIT WELL by Stephen Lawhead — Day 2 — w/ a fictional interview of Archelaeus Burleigh
Welcome to DAY 2 the 2012 Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy blog tour. of Stephen Lawhead‘s latest installment of his daring BRIGHT EMPIRES series of novels: THE SPIRIT WELL.
Make sure you check out my previous book review over at Book review of THE SPIRIT WELL by Stephen Lawhead…Day 1
And just like yesterday, I’ll say it again: If you’re not familiar with the series, and want to read it, make sure you start with book 1: THE SKIN MAP, and then proceed through book 2: THE BONE HOUSE to make sure you fully understand and appreciate the intricacies of the plot line.
If you start with book 3 without having read the others, that is fine, but make sure you don’t post any negative reviews, then … the fault will be your own if you didn’t enjoy the novel! If you do this, I’ll hunt your blog down and roast it slowly over a fire. 
MY INTERVIEW WITH ARCHELAEUS BURLEIGH
Note: All quotes from Burleigh can be found in THE SPIRIT WELL (on the page…that is in parentheses)…although not necessarily from his mouth. This interview is fictitious and is just for fun!
Me: My name is Robert Treskillard, and I’m here to welcome you to the Business Book Promotion Television Network! Giles is our cameraman today, Cosimo our producer, and we have a special guest, one Archelaeus Burleigh, the Earl of Sutherland. Come, Archie, I’m so glad you finally made it through customs to get to the interview! I heard there was a little snafu with your passport being dated from the 19th century and all.
Burleigh: All respectable people have papers. (213)
Me: Well, yes of course, I’m sure they considered you respectable since you made it through. Now, folks, you need to know that Mr. Burleigh has a new book out called … Start Your Own Antiquities Business In Twenty Fast Steps’, and so tell us a bit about the book, Archie.
Burleigh: Me! I should do this? (213)
Me: Well, that’s how these interviews work, you see…
Burleigh: How very odd (53)
Me (whispering): Archie, really, you’ve got to work with me on this if you want to bump your sales up, come now, tell us a bit about the book.
Burleigh: Very well. If you insist (56)
Me: What business model you are proposing?
Burleigh: Antiquities (198)
Me: Well or course, it says so right on the cover. Can you elucidate?
Burleigh: It is my business (203)
Me: And how do you go about gathering these ancient objects to sell? It says on the back of the book that you recommend a new form of travel. Can you tell us a bit about it?
Burleigh: That is what you must discover (71)
Me: Well, yes, I do need to read the book in full, but you did agree to the interview, so can’t you tell us even a little?
Burleigh: I was exploring (213)
Me: Well, yes, that is what travelers do, don’t they? But I mean, how do you do it? The press release here says that you find the goods to sell by sprinting down some sort of painted line called a ‘ley’…is this some form of antiquated Olympic sport?
Burleigh: Ley travel? Is that what you call it? (109)
Me: Well, no, you yourself have called it that, right here on page two of the press release. It says something about inter-dimensional travel.
Burleigh: Preposterous. Young people are so credulous. (105)
Me: Now look, you’re here to promote your book, aren’t you? If not, this other publisher’s book will sell more copies. I’ve got it right here, “How To Become A Stone-Age Travel Agent” by Kit Livingstone.
Burleigh: I did not hear that! (55)
Me: No use denying it, Kit’s book is outselling yours two to one…
Burleigh: I want him gone. Look at him. He is a barbarian (212)
Me: Yes, his author photo is a bit furry. Looks like Mr. Livingstone needs to buy a new razor.
Burleigh: He is a rival and a threat (69)
Me: Yes, quite. But that isn’t the point, now is it? Let’s talk more about this ‘ley’ travel that you discovered.
Burleigh: I seem to recall something about it, yes. (82)
Me: Could you demonstrate it for our audience? Perhaps that would create a social-media buzz and start the tweets really flying.
Burleigh: This way, I will show you (53)
Me: Now, really, Mr. Burleigh, you can put that gun down. You’re on national TV, and I don’t think that is the right thing to do.
Burleigh: Do not imagine that I will forget your insolence (116)
Me: Are you mad?
Burleigh: So far as I know, I am in my right mind (211)
Me: You want me to stand up? To go with you as a prisoner? Now, really, I’ve heard of book promotion stunts, but this has to be a first…
Burleigh: I grow sick with bickering with you over every step I take (116)
Me: Giles, let go of the camera and help me! Cosimo!
(A loud bang is heard)
Burleigh: He has suffered a gunshot (123)
Me: You shot him through the leg! Cosimo, call an ambulance. Now let me go, you ruffian!
Burleigh: I will decide what to do. (116)
Me: Okay, okay, I’ll cooperate. No need to wave the gun around like that. And what’s that little brass gizmo you have there, all lit up? What? You want me to run with you?
Burleigh: We don’t want to miss it (55)
Me (running and out of breath): Well, signing off form the Business Book Promotion Television Network. Tune in the following…ahh…millennium…for our next show where we interview Wilhelmina Klug about her new business book, “Coffeeshop Franchising In The 15th Century”.
Burleigh: As always, it has been a singular pleasure (192)
(The sound of thunder is heard, and water splashes the camera lens, and then all goes dark.)
Seriously, though, come back tomorrow for DAY THREE of THE SPIRIT WELL Christian Science Fiction and Fantasy Blog Tour where I cover Lawhead’s craft and the Christian elements in the book.
MY RECOMMENDATION
I heartily recommend THE SPIRIT WELL to all lovers of science-fiction and fantasy. This novel has some “back to the future” elements to it, so be prepared to have your mind bent 180 degrees as you read this most excellent third novel in THE BRIGHT EMPIRES series.
MY OTHER BRIGHT EMPIRES REVIEWS
Also, feel free to read my reviews of the first two books in the series:
- Stephen Lawhead’s THE SKIN MAP…Day 1
- Stephen Lawhead’s THE SKIN MAP…Day 2
- Stephen Lawhead’s THE SKIN MAP…Day 3
- Stephen Lawhead’s THE BONE HOUSE…A Full Review
- The Laity Lodge Writers Retreat: A Travelogue (Where I met Stephen Lawhead in person)
HA! Very funny. And for the record, I would read Klug’s book any day.
I agree, that would be fun to read any of these books, however unlikely that someone would have written them! Thanks for stopping by, Julie.
Great review! It’s not only hilarious, it actually gives a glimpse in what the book is about and some of the characters.
EPIC! This was so good and I laughed throughout the whole interview. No joke!
You did a very good job of weaving the character’s quotes into the interview and made it come to life.
LOVE IT!
Great interview!
Hahaha. I love it when you do this. I realized this would take a lot of work, so I commend you.
Lawhead is always a delight to read. I enjoy the interaction with you as well.
Jason
You clearly have too much time on your hands. And with an imagination like that, you should write a book or something.
Nathan — I hadn’t thought of that!
Emileigh & Becky — I’m glad you enjoyed it.
Jason — it wasn’t too hard … I had a “quote gathering phase” and then just fit them in as it made sense.
Steve — I actually have *very* little time, but it was fun to do nevertheless!